-Lets out a breath-
Okay, here I go. I don’t know how this is going to come across but I have a serious issue on my hands that I want answers to that hits me every now and then for the longest time that I can remember.
Here it is on the table. For many years actually, since I was 13 or14, I have had a haunting feeling about myself that I haven’t been able to understand or figure out.
-Takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly-
I don’t know what to call myself. I mean, I don’t know WHO or WHAT I am on the inside in this society. Again, what I mean by this is sexuality, identity, and personality. I’ve asked this question to the closest people to me throughout the years and NONE have been able to tell me what I need to know.
Since I was 14, I’ve been struggling with this on the inside but for many many years, leading into my adulthood, I have ignored the feeling. Being 26 almost 27, I can’t ignore this anymore as it is unconsciously making me really depressed and hateful towards myself.
Constantly in the mirror every day, I look at my reflection and say “WHO ARE YOU?!” Now, I’m not saying that I’m Trans. (or am I? See?! I’m confused.) But, I do know that I just am who I am. As for WHO that “am” is, I don’t know.
I’ll tell you a few facts about me that I do know are 100% true so maybe you can help me figure it out?
1. I absolutely love Snowflakes
2. Love cats, not so much a fan of dogs (but I do love some so I’m 50/50)
3. Hate gore but I watch The Walking Dead.
4. Fan of fantasy/sci-fi (Once Upon a Time, Ghost Whisperer, Anime/ manga to name a few)
5. Speaking of anime, I love to Cosplay. Not just any Cosplay; male Cosplays even though I’m female. I just feel more comfortable dressing as a male rather than female. I’m not talking about physical comfort (binding hurts) but emotionally.
6. TOTALLY, in love with the Asian culture. I wish I was born Asian sometimes.
7. I enjoy some sports like Football (watching), street hockey (playing), Volleyball, soft/baseball(playing), swimming, dodge ball and handball.
8. I am a sewer (self taught) and crafter.
9. I sing
10. Dance (in private only)
11. Videogame nerd (although it’s slowed down a lot because of depression)
12. I used to draw a lot but I still like to do it.
I’m sure there are more but I can’t think of it….
In all reality, I’ve come to think that I’ll never figure who I truly am and this saddens me to the core.
Lets see...what else to post. Oh, I'm 26, was born and raised in Simi Valley, CA. I currently live in Tampa, FL with my girlfriend SkyWolf22
I'm a friendly person, but piss me off and I become a terror. Just a warning.
There are many things I like to do. Sewing, crafting, photography and computer graphics (even though I'm not very good at it).
I'm outgoing, fun and love adventure. I make and sell cosplay (google it if you don't know what that is.) but not just that, I do requests for other things too within skill limit.
I go to local conventions in my cosplays I make. If you live in or near Tampa, HIT ME UP!
-Yaoi, action/semi-drama/funny anime, cosplaying, sewing, crafts, photography, video editing/shooting, The Lion King, Tom Hiddleston, Thor, Loki, Avengers movie, Gundam Wing, Fullmetal Alchemist, Sailor Moon, Naruto/shippuden
KonohaCorner podcast, Bleach, Cauliflower, steak, drama starters, haters, Romy Meyerson, stalkers, backstabbers, rude people, the block feature used on me. BEING IGNORED!, talking on the phone to strangers, zombies, darkness, My Little Ponies, Michael Bardenhagen, stuck up people, Homestuck, pikabellechu, the U.S. Government, Obama,
|Commissions ARE CLOSED for right now. I'll make a journal when they are open. Thank you.|